I hate all girls vehemently.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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