I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Come on in and take your pants off
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