just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
