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My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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