Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Acid is not a monday night drug
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
