Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My cat gives me a boner

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.

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(630): View more from Illinois

At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"

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(705): View more from Ontario

I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.

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