If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize