im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
