me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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