She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
