If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
