It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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