I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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