forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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