lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
