Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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