I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
