I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
