i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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