I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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