Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
