In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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