Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
