The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
