Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
