I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
