I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize