she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
