Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
