??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
