Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
