too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize