Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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