ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
