I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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