addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize