I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
