So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
