How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
