He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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