i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
