While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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