either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
