So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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