so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
