Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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