awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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