my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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