we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
