I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
