Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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