Non-Jews are for practice
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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