the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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