i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
