Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
