I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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