i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
