My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
