Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
