I just pynch a tree in the face
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
