wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
