Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
