and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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